Russell Brand found Jesus. The jury found a rapist.

⚠️ Content warning: This post discusses rape and sexual assault.

Russell Brand was baptised in the Thames in April 2024, seven months after allegations of rape and sexual assault became public. On 9 November 2026, he was sentenced to ten and a half years in prison after being convicted of one count of rape and three counts of sexual assault.

During my time in church safeguarding, I came across some absolute wrong'uns who found Jesus in a prison cell. Some had done deplorable things, and I saw precious little evidence that they'd changed. They could talk for England about what God had done for them. They could quote Scripture like it was a character reference they’d written for themselves. But ask what they'd done to other people and suddenly it was between them and the Lord.

So yes, the cynic in me raised an eyebrow at the timing of Brand’s dunk in the Thames. Even when claiming to surrender to a higher power, Brand somehow keeps the starring role. Jesus gets a supporting credit.

Brand described baptism as a chance to leave the past behind. I can see the appeal. A fresh start sounds lovely when you get to decide which bits of the past suit the narrative. You can even film yourself explaining how profound and freeing it all is. I keep thinking about the women who came forward and what it cost them to speak about the very past he was so keen to leave behind.

I’ve seen churches get so taken with a man’s redemption story that by the time you ask what he’s actually done to change, someone’s already offered him a microphone.

Ask who’s doing the risk assessment and you can practically hear people thinking, Does she have to be so bloody negative?

If a man has genuinely changed, he can live with a risk assessment. He can live with being told there are roles he’ll never hold. And he can live with the fact that the people he harmed owe him absolutely nothing. That includes forgiveness.

My thoughts are with the women who came forward. They had to speak about what he did in a world that was already very used to handing him the microphone. I’m more interested in what it cost them to speak than in how Russell Brand felt coming out of the Thames.

~ Michelle Burns

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